https://mega.nz/folder/kLgHgZiS#U3DWV8Hfj1VEQJ4oXjAtrQ/file/kXYGHbQY

>dialogue 1
I'd say go with the third option, as slutspawn would likely be pushing for a meeting. Chastespawn (if such a version ever gets made) would go with option one
>stumbles out a series of sounds
Depending how you intend to write her as a character, I imagine slutspawn would be more enthusiastic about the offer/request, particularly if she's been lewded before (which iirc is a prerequisite for this scene)
>dialogue 2
I'd combine the first two; informs the pc a bit about Alex, and shows HS's confidence in his ability.
<He likes other people in charge, so I could probably get him to try it. I know you'd get him to love it.
>you've scarcely had time
you have scarcely had time; a doubling of words, one in present tense & the other past.
<you scarcely have time
>in fact, focused
focusing; present tense
>you gaze at the slender, feminine physique to see a loose
Using " to see a" here indicates that you are only now able to see something that has been in some way concealed until this point. Instead, substituting ", taking in his" is more accurate to the situation: his attire has been visible the entire time but is only now being focused on.
>His legs are covered in black chitin that transitions into the fair skin not covered by his shirt, resembling stockings
The placement of "resembling stockings" is such that is is referring to his shirt, and should be placed immediately after the thing that it is describing. Also worth noting is that the transition point isn't really specified, as stockings can be anywhere from knee- to leg-length.
<His legs are covered in a black chitin that gives the appearance of wearing stockings, but give way to fair skin just below the hem of his shirt.
>Similarly his
Missed comma
>[helspawn] moves in to hug you. Alex is swept into the hug, willing or not, by the considerable strength difference between him and the salamander.
This, combined with the next sentence, is a choppy "This happens. Then this happens. Then that happens.", so it'd flow better by rolling at least these two together
<[helspawn] moves to hug you, and Alex—willing or not—is dragged along by her considerably greater strength.
>a [if (has chitin
extra a outside the if statement
>He lifts his gaze to [helspawn]'s reassuring smile as her tail wraps around his waist, comforting him before stammering
Strictly grammatically speaking, the wording here indicates that HS is speaking, as she has been the one last stated to be performing an action, so the comforting would need to be pulled into its own clause in order to preserve Alex as the subject.
<He lifts his gaze to [helspawn]'s reassuring smile, her tail wrapped comfortingly around his waist, before stammering
>her subby boyfriend
Personally, I find subby to be a really weird word. Not wrong technically, just phonetically.
>to see a loose
>resembling stockings
>comforting him before stammering
Second verse, same as the first.
>[helspawn] undoes the clasps
This needs moved inside the if statement, with capital & lower variations
>Alex, meanwhile, brings his large
Knowing how timid he is, I'd imagine he'd need some encouragement and/or for someone else to undress him for him, but it's fine either way.
>she brings her knee over the other
I'd swap her for one; tiny bit of variety. Either way, I can only imagine this particular pose from a sitting position, even though everyone is still standing at this point.
>your nuts and licking your [balls]
Even with the parser, this feels a redundant, so either shove his face into your crotch, or just move it downwards.
>He moves two hands up....instead of tending
He does have four hands, so he could do both
>You guide them to opposite sides of your
Far as I can tell, this point is for any cock count, but is referring to a singular. Can be fixed just by referencing the biggest/first for multis.
>you push him down flat
I wonder about putting him on top; making him move on his own & getting used to taking it, probably with HS's teasing/encouragement. Possibility for a future scene or just a variant.
>{and its brothers}
Needs spaces before & after.
>What does he like?
While not strictly player quoting, it basically is.
<You wiggle your hips, demanding he be more specific.
>dialogue 3
I like the third option, though not for any particular reason. Also, should be he's.
>light moans join .... gradually dominating
Just a small personal bit, I feel it's a bit odd for just her moans to have such an affect, but I also wouldn't put it past SS to push his face into her crotch, which'd accomplish the same thing.
>your [cock] in his asshole
Trying to change up some of the words for a bit more variety, maybe "bowels" here?
>tasting the cock currently fucking him
It took me a moment to figure out how that works before I remembered she was giving head a moment ago; perhaps add "tasting on her lips"?
>Affirming to his girlfriend
I assume vocally, or just incoherently mumbling? Also technically that sentence is missing a subject.
>dialogue 4
I'd say option 4; shows just how worked up she is. For future reference, they say Marae instead of God.
>No one is a meter
I think my main file has several meter-long tentacle cocks, just cause you never know when they'll come in handy. On a serious note, I've no idea. I have heard the occasional Brit use inch in these sorts of situations.
>full of your cum
Including the silly (which I'd be fine making the normal text), there are three uses of cum in this paragraph. This one could be jizz, or the slightly cringe baby batter.
>b-cup tits
I suppose she's supposed to be a teen, but those'd be tiny on someone of her height; c or maybe d seems more appropriate.
>into a kiss. Her kiss is
Repetition, easiest I can think of is swap the second one for just "she's", as it emphasizes how all of her is worked up, not just her mouth.
>You really raised a pervert
Feel this should be behind a corruption or sluttiness check.
>still wet with her boyfriend's saliva
Unless I'm not seeing, I didn't catch the part about him servicing her ass. If you're referring to the player's cock#2, then this bit needs put after that. Also, while not strictly necessary, a bit about lining up would be a nice bit of flavor text; it's a bit abrupt otherwise.
>Her last words punctuated
Missing an "are" after words.
>captivated by the unique advantage
Just spitballing, but there's an opportunity to encourage his to grow a second dick. Probably too much effort though.
>Slapping against her ass audibily
If I'm reading right, this line would be a repeat of the last line for mono-cocks, and also doesn't have mention of the sounds she's making until after.
>into her spasming pussy
Needs a comma at the end
>can fit knot
Something for the coders to figure out, but this requires actually using a cock with a knot; multi-cockers might not have that particular one in use.
>more of your semen
Again, any synonyms should be used here to avoid repetition.
>Come, over here, Alex
These commas are unneeded.
>before pulling you deeper
He'd be pushing you in this case
>You tell him he was a very good boy.
It's rather stilted having this as a separate sentence; would be better rolled into the previous one.
>Given how smitten he is
From here down could more or less be a merging point for watching & assisting, what with how it wraps things up in a surprisingly wholesome way and is pretty much identical anyway.